Why I'm writing

Two and a half years ago I tried to commit suicide.  When it became clear that my plan wouldn't work, I contacted friends instead of coming up with another plan.  Now there are certain topics that are off limits with my friends, so I need an outlet.  I also need to put some stuff out there that I was looking for desperately in the aftermath of my suicide attempt.  While I still have suicidal thoughts sometimes, I'm not here to discuss how to commit suicide.  I'm still trying to figure out how to live.